Conversational Narcissism

I learned something new, which helped me pin-point what exactly bothered me about some people, both in real life and online. So I thought it might help you as well and give your mind some rest and ease, inshāʾa Allāh.

Apparently, there is something called "conversational narcissism". It's when a person dominates conversations and consistently redirects the focus onto themselves.

They often speak in long monologues, show little genuine interest in others, and even when they seem attentive, it's usually just to find an opening to insert themselves back into the conversation.

The most obvious sign is that they seem oblivious, they ramble excessively, sometimes at inappropriate moments, talking mostly about themselves, their desires, or plans. This leads to a disconnect: between the conversation participants and between the discussion and its original topic.

Why do they behave this way? There are many reasons. It's not always malicious; sometimes they’re simply unaware of how they come across.

The effect on others, however, is consistent: alienation, disinterest, feeling overwhelmed, and often a sense of bizarreness.

If you need to interact with such a person, the best approach is to be gentle but honest. Let them know how you feel, using plenty of "I" statements like "I feel…" to make them aware of your perspective, and that you're a human being with feelings, not an audience behind a screen.
If that doesn't work, then you need more directness, and use methods like redirecting with questions, pausing, or calmly pointing out the topic drift. Polite frankness helps a lot here.

Allāh knows best.